If you’re shy, you can learn how to get control over your shyness. An important step in learning how to overcome shyness is to watch what sorts of messages you’re giving yourself as your self confidence begins to plummet along with your self-consciousness starts to grow.
The reason it’s necessary to note your inner thoughts when you’re feeling shy is because you will need to know and understand the negative messages that go through your mind. When you know what messages you’re sending to your self, you can really change them and learn how to get control over your shyness. You can learn how to change your mood from one which is extremely negative and fearful to one that’s positive and relaxed. The messages that you send to yourself have a large effect on your self image and your internal senses of confidence.
The next time you’re in a situation where you begin to feel shy and insufficient, stop and ask yourself what you messages you’re saying to yourself. I am not as cool as the other children.” Or, “I am not as good looking as the other women at this party.”
Deep inside, you’re sending yourself some sort of very negative message about yourself, then you’re thinking it and acting upon it. To get control over your shyness you will need to bring these unwanted messages into the surface and analyze them in the light of day.
When you identify negative messages you’ve been telling yourself, you need to begin examining them to find out what actual evidence you have that they’re true. Whether the messages are authentic or not, you also should ask yourself, “So what?”
By way of instance, imagine that you’re saying to yourself, “I am not as cool as the other children; I should not be here.” It’s only a judgment. Who decides what’s cool? Does that mean I ought to be miserable? Does that mean that I don’t have a right to speak to other men and women? Can I only accept myself and look for men and women who will accept me also?”
The reason it’s necessary to notice your internal messages is that all people have assumptions and beliefs that run our lives. In plenty of cases we aren’t even aware of the beliefs we have, but in some instances they have very negative impacts on our lives. If you’re presently residing in shyness and isolation due to some beliefs you may actually challenge and change, this is fantastic news.
It means that you once you discover the underlying beliefs which produce your shyness a lot more devastating than it has to be, you can begin to change. You can begin challenging your negative beliefs that make you keep your shy behavior and you can begin replacing them with positive beliefs that will let you be a lot more sociable and outgoing. You can get control over your shyness and finally begin to have the social life you truly want.